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STOP KIDDING YOURSELF

by Ken My
Wednesday September 25th, 2024
in Relationship
325
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Do you really believe that he
loves you or that you love him?

More often than not, affairs with a married man didn’t happen because a woman had planned for it, but women do fall for married men on a fairly regular basis. It is by no means a piece of cake either way, and like it or not, someone always end up getting hurt really badly. Many women got battled and some even murdered by jealous wives or worse than death, got defaced and ruined for the rest of their lives. Yet women find it hard to break lose and remain playing the high stakes.

Physical attraction, life circumstances, discontentment …. all these are ingredients in the recipe for an affair.  Many thought it was love and perhaps love it really is, but more so it’s the woman’s love of what the stealthy affair offers and not really love for a person who cheats on another woman and possibly several others as well.  Women who begin an affair with a married man, all-of-a-sudden find themselves emerged in a world of drama and intrigue, which can be addictive to an otherwise-bored woman.

The Question is, does being with a married man, betrays a woman’s insecurity or does it show outright the woman’s ruthless and selfish nature?

The excitement that comes with an affair is based around self-gratification and have very little to do with actually caring for another person. Unfortunately, the rush of feeling experienced is easily mistaken for ‘love.’ Women feel more sexually gratified by a married man because to him, sexual intercourse with a kept woman is usually charged by lust, but over time, his desire would diminish just as it is with his wife.

A married man can never give his whole self to you and half the time, you yearn for him. Sex may or may not be on the agenda, but you build up the desire in your heart. When you eventually meet, you give the best side of you and he reciprocates (compliments, ego-boosting flirtation). You never have to pick after each other’s dirt so your eyes are covered. True intimacy is being able to have and see all of another person (and giving your whole self to them). Real love requires real intimacy.

Being the kept woman requires you to take a step back and take a cold, hard, analytical look at the realities of your situation. There are serious limitations and you will always be hurt by jealousy of his wife.  You have also to be prepared for him to turn cold, act different and even dump you when he finds another woman to play with.

What you can expect when engaged in this type of relationships, are a lot of spontaneous changes in your ability to see each other.  Expect last minute rendezvous when he feels like having you, but also expect that even your best laid plans are subject to last minute cancellations.

Most of all, expect to be spending all major holidays alone. He will be in the company of his family, which does include his wife and children and not be with you. Unless you are well socialized, you can expect to be very lonely during these times and very sadly, you are unable to share details of your relationship with friends and family as you would in a normal relationship. You will truly be living in the shadow of his life, always feeling hurt and empty. If a man can cheat on his wife to play with you, he can dump you at any time to play with someone else. Think carefully; stop kidding yourself.

 

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Ken My

Ken My

kenmy@ladies.com.kh

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